What is Grief?

What is Grief?

Grief is a response to change.

While commonly linked to bereavement, grief can arise in many contexts, including illness, injury, and life transitions.

It’s not a pathology or a personal failing. Grief is a developmental process—a natural part of how humans adapt to change across the lifespan.

Grief can occur whenever we’re required to adjust to a new reality.

This includes losses that are widely recognized, like a death or job loss, but also those that are less visible: a medical diagnosis, loss of function, or shifts in identity.

 

Some things we might grieve

Death & Bereavement

  • Death of a loved one or pet

  • Loss of a public figure

Identity & Health Changes

  • Medical diagnoses

  • Injury or illness

  • Shifts in roles or gender identity

Relational Losses

  • Breakups, estrangement, or exclusion

  • Changes to caregiving or custody

  • Incarceration, military deployment

Grief can arise from many types of loss or change.

This is not an exhaustive list. Displacement, natural disasters, and immigration can all trigger grief, as can financial or career disappointments. The loss of a home, a sense of normalcy, or a treasured item can carry deep emotional weight. What matters is whether the loss or change disrupts a person’s sense of safety, stability, or identity.

Grief can arise during positive life events, too.

Milestones like graduation, retirement, or the birth of a child often bring a mix of emotions. Joy and grief can coexist—especially when change involves letting go of what was.

Life Transitions

Changes that may be planned or positive but still involve loss of routine, roles, or expectations:

  • Adoption or birth

  • Changing jobs

  • Graduation

  • Marriage

  • Moving to a new home

  • Retirement

All grief is valid.

If we don’t name the grief that can come with joyful life changes, it’s easy to misinterpret our own emotions. Feeling sadness, fear, or anxiety during a “positive” event doesn’t mean we’re ungrateful—it means we’re human. Recognizing this helps us respond with compassion instead of confusion or shame.

Back of man sitting on edge of truck bed silhouetted against the sunset

We can grieve things we choose. 

Even when a decision is voluntary—like ending a relationship or stopping treatment—it can still carry loss. Having agency doesn’t cancel out the emotional impact; grief and choice can exist side by side.

 

Grief vs. Mourning

Grief is the internal experience—the thoughts, feelings, and physical responses we have after a loss.

Mourning is how we express that grief outwardly, often shaped by culture, rituals, or personal practices.

In short: Grief is what we feel. Mourning is what we do.

 

Grief is natural, normal, and healthy

Grief is a natural response to meaningful disruption—whether from loss, transition, or change. Its impact is far-reaching, influencing our emotions, cognition, physical health, and daily functioning.