Communicating With People With Disabilities About Grief

Grief is experienced and expressed differently by each person including individuals with disabilities such as Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, and Down syndrome. Differences in communication, sensory processing, and emotion regulation can shape how grief is understood and expressed.

Grief-Sensitive Communication and Support Strategies

When supporting grieving people with disabilities, adapting communication and care approaches can help ensure that grief is recognized and responded to in ways that support regulation, safety, and dignity.

Clear, honest communication is essential. Information about a loss should be shared truthfully and concretely, calibrated to the individual’s developmental level, cognitive abilities, and communication needs.

Because grief-related information can be overwhelming, it is often helpful to simplify and pace conversations. Breaking information into smaller pieces, allowing time for processing, and revisiting explanations as needed can support understanding.

For some individuals, especially those who process information visually or have limited verbal communication, supportive tools such as visual aids, social stories, or concrete examples may be particularly effective.

Social Stories

Social stories can be helpful tools for supporting people with disabilities in understanding death and grief. By offering a clear, visual narrative, they help make abstract concepts more concrete and predictable, which can support processing and regulation. HEARTplay offers social stories such as:

It is also important to recognize that grief may show up behaviorally rather than verbally. For some children and teens, particularly those who are neurodivergent or nonverbal, grief may be expressed through changes in behavior, increased distress, withdrawal, or difficulty with transitions. Validating these responses as possible expressions of grief, rather than dismissing or pathologizing them, can support emotional safety.

Maintaining structure and predictability is often especially supportive. Preserving routines when possible, clearly preparing individuals for changes, and using visual schedules or step-by-step explanations can help reduce distress and support regulation. Alongside this, consistent reassurance that the individual is cared for, supported, and safe may help restore a sense of stability during periods of loss and disruption.

Together, these approaches can support emotional regulation, reduce distress, and promote a sense of security for grieving children and individuals with disabilities across developmental stages.

The Impact of Secondary Losses

Secondary losses are the ripple effects that follow a primary loss and may include shifts in identity or changes in community, routine, or traditions.

These layered changes can prompt abrupt disruptions that are especially challenging for grieving people with disabilities, including neurodivergent individuals and those with developmental differences.

Because predictability and consistency often support emotional regulation, sudden changes after a loss may increase distress, overwhelm, or dysregulation.

In this clip from Speaking Grief, Anise Saunders, a bereaved daughter, reflects on the difficulty of moving to a new home shortly after her father’s death. Her experience highlights how secondary losses, such as changes in living environment, can compound grief and intensify emotional strain.

Nonverbal Communication

For individuals who are nonverbal or have limited verbal communication, alternative ways of expressing and understanding grief are essential.

Model emotions. Naming and modeling feelings can help individuals recognize and express their own emotions.
Use physical and visual cues. Gestures, facial expressions, visuals, and other nonverbal cues can support connection and communication.
Observe behavior closely. Changes such as withdrawal, increased distress, or disruptions in routine may be important indicators of grief.

Attentiveness to nonverbal communication helps ensure grief is recognized and supported, even when it is not spoken.

Additional Resources for Supporting People with Disabilities Who Are Grieving

The following resources offer guidance and practical tools for supporting individuals with disabilities who are grieving:

Hospice Foundation: Autism and Grief Project: The Autism and Grief Project from the Hospice Foundation of America offers tools and guidance to support grieving autistic adults, developed in collaboration with self-advocates, clinicians, and caregivers.
Autistic Grief is Not Like Neurotypical Grief: An account detailing the unique grief experience of an individual with ASD.
Bereavement and Autism: A Universal Experience with Unique Challenges: Discusses the distinct challenges faced by individuals on the autism spectrum during bereavement.
Supporting Children of All Abilities Who Are Grieving: A toolkit for professionals working with grieving children with disabilities.
Supporting Grieving Children with Autism: Offers guidance on communicating about death and supporting children with autism through grief.